When I was a kid I thought that Colgate had secret hidden cameras in bathroom mirrors so they could film people brushing their teeth to use in their advertisements. So when I went to brush my teeth I used to try and be really upbeat so they would pick me for the ads.


darrenstummy:

i’m that horrible friend that reads your text message then puts the phone down for 2 minutes to do something and forgets to reply until three hours later





francieum:

hopelesslyhiddled:

jikukan:

I’M LAHUGING SO HARD AT THIS

SHE DOESN’T EVEN JUMP SHE JUST LIFTS OFF THE GROUND 

it looks fake

Yeah, it’s definitely fake.


brightest-hour-of-my-darkest-day:

lettucefetish:

i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me

and then i still don’t believe them




"I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you."
— The Fault in Our Stars. (via treacherousstars)

bangharry:

wonderfloniumandfezzes:

nerdsforthebirds:

neurophagy:

sonnetstockmar:

a bisexual pop group called Both Directions

a pansexual pop group called All Directions

an asexual pop group called No Directions

a questioning pop group called Which Direction

a homosexual pop group called One Direction



omysam:

i wonder if teachers play the “who’s a virgin” game in their heads in class


  • Me: Harry Potter is, like, the gateway fandom. You start reading the books, then all of a sudden you have a Sonic Screw driver, you're carrying salt everywhere and awkwardly in love with Sherlock Holmes and you don't really know how any of it happened, but your pretty sure it started because Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursely of 4 Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal thank you very much.
  • Friend: I don't even know how to respond to that.